Thank you for sharing yourself! I am overjoyed to be welcomed like this by you and @TuckerLieberman and everybody at your publication.

In hindsight I was obliged to write this piece to put my doubts to rest. Everyone around us is living business as usual. It's a maddening and jealous affair. As long as I can remember, we were already black sheep for being atheist liberals in Mormon country. Even still, my parents often said during childhood "we would still love you if you were gay but I'm glad you're not."

I didn't want anything to be different, I loved the nature, I loved my family and friends. I didn't want anything to change except have a more comfortable body. I was taught this desire meant throwing away everything else and living in the shadows so I suppressed it to not lose all else that I loved.

My few LGBTQ friends have moved away one by one over the last 9 yrs and I always knew I would follow, but I really hoped to do something to help before leaving. I ache for all the isolated people like us who don't have their own way out quite yet. My hope is to finish my accreditations and amass enough power and resources to come back and make some changes here.

I deeply appreciate your comment and helping me publish this. I used to babysit baby goats and I miss it every day!